There you were trotting along quite nicely and then there’s a bolt from the blue. One bolt on its own can be enough. But then another kicks off. And then another…. with no chance to take a breather in between.
We all have our preferred way of responding to this provocation. You can react with over-activity, buzzing around like a blue bottle, in the hope that some good will come of the flight. Or pull a cloche over your head and go to sleep – for a few years – until the issues have disappeared and miraculously cleaned up after themselves.
Conventional wisdom would have you believe that the more dire the circumstances, the better you’ll be at resolving it. This is definitely not so in my experience. Research shows you’re more likely to discover a creative solution when you’re not stressed, not deadly serious, and not fretting over the final denouement.
Fear and anguish limit the brain’s ability to function. So does the need to control, being too rigid about what is acceptable (or not), and continuing to do the same-old, same-old hoping the outcome will be different.
4 steps to resolution
These four steps taken in sequential order offer an alternative approach. On first reading they may sound counter-intuitive but when it comes down to it, they definitely are not.
1. Feel the pain. The place to begin. The quicker you allow yourself to experience the shock of it all and the reverberations to pass through you, the sooner you’ll move on. To deny your feelings will only serve to lodge these unexpressed emotions somewhere in your body where they can continue to haunt you in other ways.
2. Hear yourself out. What are the thoughts, opinions and judgements you are holding as to why this plague has descended on you right now. Let your imagination take centre stage as you receive your story line in in a more detached way from an audience’s perspective rather than as the protagonist in it.
3. Do something nice for yourself. You’ve acknowledged how you feel and you’ve analysed the events, now it’s time to switch off. The plan is to get right away from it all and become involved in other delights. This will serve to put your left-brain rational thinking on hold and allow the creativity of your right-brain to fire up and source ingenious solutions.
4. Be practical. Only once you’re relaxed and rested and your foot is no longer hard down on the solutions pedal are you ready for action. For example, communicating with the appropriate parties; decluttering and organising the areas of your home or office from which you are dealing with the problems so nothing is impeding progress; proactively seeking alternative outcomes. Now time has elapsed these actions will no longer be loaded with emotion and your ideas will be smarter than anything you might have conjured up prior.
Bomb damage totalled £4,170
Recently three unexpected events kicked off for me within the space of a week. Astrologically it was also the time of two eclipses in quick succession while Mercury decided to bury his head in the sand by going retrograde. The bomb damage cost me a whopping total of £4,170.
Did I throw a wobbly?
YES! Then I recruited a dear friend who allowed me to pour out my feelings until I was spent. Then I could listen to my storyline from an impartial place, able to tackle the tripartite puzzle with more detachment.
NEXT DAY. I took the next day off with Mr Bond walking in the soft rain, watching a young buck reach up on his hind legs to nibble juicy buds from the trees. A simple supper and a couple of episodes of Game of Thrones took me far away from my own bolts from the blue.
ONE DAY LATER. Relaxed, fortified, restored I was able to tackle the practical aspects of the problem, which two days prior had weighed on me like an undetonated bomb.
TWO DAYS ON. Two solutions appeared on the horizon like an order from Amazon. They were not gift-wrapped or delivered to my door yet but they were ready for transit and would solve two of the three puzzles when they came to fruition.
ONE WEEK LATER. Two new work opportunities appeared from nowhere worthy of further investigation. I retraced my steps and reflected on what I had done differently.
1. I’d felt the full extent of the discomfort the three bolts from the blue had evoked.
2. I lamented my own story as to how miserable it all was.
3. I accepted it as my story and then turned it over to the universe to get cracking on my behalf while I relaxed and rested.
4. I then dealt with the practical issues, which by then required me to do far less for having waited.
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