Reflections on a life-changing experience of finding guts, gore and gratitude
Post-operation
A little over two weeks after my operation and I’m delighted to report I am able to promenade beside the sea where I live. I’m off pain relief. And the curious food cravings for salty, savoury foods are levelling out and my desire for coffee and walnut cake returning again.
I still get frustrated in bed at night, marooned on my back, the only sleeping position available to me. I’m reminded of Frank Kafka’s monstrous insect in “The Metamorphosis”, struggling to be still and adapt to a new form.
Wise words
Thank you to all those who reached out to me with your good wishes for my hip replacement. And to all those who wished me well from afar, I am also grateful. I have a few reflections to share with you about this major event for me.
Firstly, I remembered too late, my nursing friend, Jan, saying: “Once you’re home drink gallons. Never mind you’re peeing frequently, you need to flush out the remains of the anesthetic and the pain killers to prevent a buildup in your stomach – and constipation.” Consequently I was very sick for 24 hours. I am sharing these words of wisdom in case you find yourself in a similar position any day soon – I sincerely hope not.
Another friend, Andrea, who is a doctor, comments: “Hospitals tend to be very gung-ho with the amount of medication they give you. I left with a carrier bag full and felt I would need an Excel spreadsheet to be sure of taking the right thing at the right time.
Show me the door
Once upon a time this operation warranted a 10-day stay in hospital in which the patient did very little. Now patients are sent home after 24-hours if there is someone at home to keep an eye on them. It makes space for other patients and minimizes the risk of the us catching MRSA or Norovirus that can lurk in hospitals where we are most vulnerable.
I must say I am ever-grateful to having an attentive husband who allowed me to leave almost as soon as I could stand. Despite all the assurances beforehand that this operation is commonplace and surgeons are very practiced at it with very successful outcomes, it’s still an insult to the body. I met my surgeon first on the day of the operation – a strong, fit Estonian appropriately called Dr Klink. I was reassured to hear, in a matter-of-fact-way, there was only a small chance that one leg would end up longer than the other and they could give me a wedge for my shoe if it did!
Guts
The reality is that it is still a major, invasive procedure and my body-mind is still coming to terms with it. Considering I am so squeamish, I am proud of myself for walking into the hospital at 6am in the dark and waiting my turn calmly (with breathing) until the appointed hour of 10am, considering the fear and trepidation I began this ‘hip-happy’ journey with.
Gore
Ultimately, there’s no avoiding the nitty-gritty decision. “Do you want to be sedated (asleep) while we cut through your skin, muscle and bone to extract the old thigh bone, or would you prefer to be awake watching the whole procedure on a TV screen? No, a full anesthetic is not an option. We give you a spinal anesthetic so you will come around quicker after the operation.”
Guess which one I chose?
Gratitude
Knowing I was likely to be awake sooner, I rather hoped this would happen in the operating theatre – once the operation was over, of course! I wanted to see what it was like inside for myself rather the TV version of it in my head. Sure enough, I came around quickly in time to see a surgical team buzzing around me, wrapping me up in what sounded like a large white paper bag, Dr Klink having left the room.
The hive of activity taking place around me reminded me of the bees on my vision board (see above), which I had made two months ago, before I knew this operation would be taking place today and, as it transpires, intuitively highlighting the path I would be invited to take.
The bees are busy around an open, vertical crevasse (wound) making honey (healing me) while the red/yellow image alongside speaks to me of blood/plasma/life-force energy. I was greatly moved to realise that it took this team of highly-trained people, working together in unison, to create a good outcome for me – and I was deeply grateful. I’m also left with a craving for wild honey.
I spotted my lovely anesthetist, Isabella. Much to her surprise, I made eye contact and said: “Thank you, Isabella” to which she graciously responded : “You are most welcome, Mary.”
Thank you for reading this. It helps me enormously to process and integrate this experience through sharing. If you have any thoughts to share please drop me a line at mary@marynonde.com.
PS – The physio’s advice on leaving the hospital ….
PS – The physio’s advice on leaving the hospital ….
“Do as many everyday things as you can.” And so I did…
I’m not sure this is what she intended but I started with a full Feng Shui audit of our own home (that’s what I do every day, right?). I visited every room of the house, starting at the front door, and noted what I saw and later would evaluate if this was in alignment with what I intended for the next chapter of my life, to ready the home to support and receive this.
Next time, I’ll share some of the adjustments I made and why – with photographs.